True Life Church

The Joy of Marriage - How To Be A Great Husband

     Greetings in the Name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. I hope and pray that your marriage is growing stronger and more meaningful everyday. In the last lesson we talked about loving your wife. This lesson will address how to minister to your wife. That sounds funny doesn’t it. Why would we call spending time with our wife, ministering to her? We don’t think it is unusual to minister to those around us; for example, someone in our church or a family member or even someone we don’t know. Yet our wives, who are with us regularly, also need special time and care from the only person who can give it to her and the only one she wants it from, her husband. So, how can we minister to our wives?

There are four important desires every wife has for her husband.

1. Someone to be kind to her and considerate of her.

2. Someone to be romantic and affectionate to her (not necessarily sex.)

3. A good father for their children.

4. A good provider.

These four areas give our wives a feeling of comfort and safety. When our wives feel safe and secure, they are free to relax and enjoy being the wife and mother God called them to be. So help your wife enjoy being married to you!

Remember the following:

You are not married to your job. A job can be a blessing from God or a tool of Satan. It is easy to use our jobs to hide or stay away from our wife or family. We hide behind "I have to work." Unless we are willing to honestly examine our marriage problems, we will never overcome them. Hiding will only delay the inevitable.

Are you working for your wife and children, or yourself? Too often we use the excuse that we are trying to provide for our families when, if we would be truthful, we would see we are overworking because it builds our self esteem and fills our own lack. This is a true statement! If you ignore your wife long enough because of your job, you may end up having your job but no wife. A job can be an escape not having to deal with problems. Your wife is the most important person in your life. Yes, even more important than your children, your career and money. Never make her feel as if she is in competition with anything or anyone else.

You're not married to sporting activities. Golf, football, fishing, athletics. Many men spend more of their time and free Saturdays with their sporting activities than with their wives and children. No wonder the wife finds someone else. She doesn’t plan it. It simply happens. Someone at work, a lonely neighbor, anyone who has time to listen, begins to meet her emotional needs. It doesn’t start out romantic or sexual and it doesn’t always end up sexual, but her heart and affections are drawn away. All because we didn’t spend enough time with the most important person in our life.

Women want relationship. It is said that 90% of all romance novels are purchased by

women. It is important for the husband to have intimate times of communication with his wife. This does not mean sex only. Yes, sex is important and a vital part of any marriage. But time spent talking face to face about important life subjects is also vital. It is amazing how much more willing our wives are to meet our needs after we have met theirs.

Things you can do to better your relationship.

1. A gentle answer turns away wrath.

2. Be tender and kind.

3. Hold your wife.

4. Touch her often.

5. Tell your wife you love her every day.

6. Keep attractive for her.

7. Don't ever embarrass her or make fun of her in front of others.

8. Notice and compliment your wife (dress & hair etc.).

9. Speak pleasant words to her.

10. Talk to her while looking at her (not at the TV or newspaper).

11. Apologize when indicated by the situation.

12. Help with housework.

13. Pick up your things. (She is not your maid.)

14. Never let her be attacked verbally or physically (by children or anyone else).

Gentlemen, marriage can be the most wonderful experience or hell on earth. It’s up to you to decide what it will be. Your wife is worth all the effort and money you spend on her. Shut off the TV. Put away the clubs for awhile. Begin to rediscover the most exciting and beautiful person on the earth - your wife!

In our next lesson we will discuss how to communicate with your wife. Keep up the good work. Your marriage is worth it!

Until next time, God bless. Terry